In America, the question every girl longs to hear is, “Will you marry me?” In Japan, however, it’s “Can you make me miso soup?” or the equally romantic, “Can you do my laundry?” In lieu of a clichéd engagement ring, these heartwarming words are the unequivocal signs that a Japanese guy wants to live the rest of his life with you (or hire you as his maid). When my husband popped the question, I made him miso soup with fish that had been in his refrigerator so long, it was about to sprout feet and walk out of there, Darwinian-style. Strike one. I’m pretty good at doing laundry, however, so that was my saving grace…he might not be able to eat anything I cook without fear of food poisoning, but at least his clothes are nice and clean.

Once you get married, Japanese women traditionally become chained to the kitchen. You’re expected to wake up before your husband, make breakfast, make lunch, and make dinner, then wait for hubby to come home so you can pour him a beer, serve him his food, then worship his feet as he watches the news. A typical Japanese breakfast includes grilled salmon, miso soup, steamed rice, and assorted pickles. Lunch and dinner usually includes a main dish like Japanese-style fried chicken, and two side dishes like stewed vegetables and a seaweed salad. For dessert, it’s sliced seasonal fruit, artfully presented. All this cooking was incomprehensible to me as an American…growing up, it was Hamburger Helper, forget about the side dishes, and Jell-O for dessert, so I had a lot to learn.

My mother-in-law typically spends 2 hours preparing dinner, and she pulls out all the stops. I feared I would be totally inept at Japanese cooking, that is, until I met my husband’s sister, who can’t peel an apple. Then I realized that, while being able to cook like an Iron Chef may be the ideal, in our busy modern lives, who has the time or the energy? I still can’t bust out the Hamburger Helper without my husband signing over divorce papers, but at least I can whip up something vaguely resembling Japanese food, serve it with love, and hope to hell the foot-worship makes up for the questionable cuisine.

Visit the Felissimo Design House this week for a display of kitchen products from Japan that will turn even the worst cook in your house into a Japanese sous chef.